Lesson Ten — Winning With Names

The greatest compliment you can pay anyone is to remember that person’s name and to pronounce it correctly. When we talk to someone and use their name in the conversation, we show that we are interested in them as an individual.

When you call a friend’s house and the little brother answers the phone, if you say, “May I speak to Debbie?”, and Debbie is not home, Debbie might get the message that you called. On the other hand, if you make that same phone call and say to the little brother answering the phone, “Hi Josh, this is Sam Shickelberry. Is Debbie home?”, you just made little Josh feel important. As a result, Debbie will probably get your message. If you really want to make sure Debbie gets the message, say, “Hi Josh, this is Sam Shickelberry. How are you doing today? How are things at school?”, and follow it up by saying, “Josh, will you please tell Debbie that I called? Thanks a lot Josh”, Debbie is almost certain to get the message. Again, you made Josh feel important and it cost you nothing.

You should make it a habit to refer to people by name frequently during a conversation. Instead of just saying, “Where do you want to go?” You should say, “Where do you want to go, Phil?” It may not seem like much, but it will pay off in the long run. Let’s go back to Josh. If you make Josh feel important by using his name, he will probably think you are a nice person, even if you are not. Now, Josh may be only six or seven but it would not hurt you a bit if Josh said to his older sister, “Boy, older sister, that guy (or girl) sure is nice,” even better, some day you might be over Debbie’s house and spill soda on the new carpet in which case, Josh may not rat on you to Debbie’s parents. You never know when you are going to need a friend.